John and Edward make best TV moment ever.

Christ on a bike. I'm literally rooted to the spot. I've just witnessed something so monumentally baffling that my mouth has been open so long that it's dried to a haunted barren wasteland.

I'm talking, of course, about this generation's JFK moment. That moment is John and Edward's rendition of Britney Spear's 'Oops... I Did It Again' on week two of The X Factor live gubbins.

It was a phenomenal TV moment that united every single human in Britain in utter bewilerment. Two creepy clones pranced around in PVC suits and butchered the gigantic pop hit, after appearing in chains, before stopping for what will be referred to as: That Titanic Moment. It was so staggering that I cried like a baby - hungry (for more) and growing new teeth (so they could be so on edge that they could scream at the TV).

With haircuts that give the impression that the singing-two are constantly falling down a mineshaft, pretty much every beverage in Britain was spurting out of noses in a mixture of amusement, horror and a whole new emotion that was invented just for the occasion.

Seriously. The whole spectacle was like accidentally farting in front of a new girlfriend whilst puking euphorically, sat in a car crash, whilst being force-fed Es with your favourite tune playing on the radio after being given a million pounds and a hover-board. And you've got three minutes to live and a potential erection.

It was so confusing and dismally brilliant that it's almost impossible to try and convey what happened on stage tonight.

This will be shown on clip shows until the end of time and John and Edward should, and probably will, be given their own show to wheel out their horror-entertainment for us all on a weekly basis.

It was horrible, brilliant, confusing, wonderful, poetic, puke-inducing, stirring and... and... and... every bit of my DNA says it was wrong, yet, it felt so very right.

Comments

[Murray]

I'd rather see them performing in a gay porn video.