My Back Pages: Through the archives of The Electric R'

Some of you aren't aware of just how long The Electric R' has been going. Mosta youse are probably thinkin' that this e-rag came about in the blogboom, conjured up while one of us was putting the bins out or somethin'. You'd be wrong. The Big R' has been around since the late '40s, initially as a jazz weekly, which branched out into R&B and rock 'n' roll at the turn of the '50s. When the '60s got going, so did The R', which turned it's gaze to fizzy pop, psychedelia and pop culture.

So with that, let's have a look through the back issues of Roule Roule and see what the previous writers were saying about the world of slop, pop and rock.

Today marks the anniversary of Mick Ronson's droppin' by the offices of ER (6th January '84 issue). After his success with pop-vulture David Bowie, Ronson claimed to have found "rock 'n' roll's next happening" in a kid  called Gerry Wilcox. "His attitude is the living-end! This kid mixes Bowie's glam alien chic with Wilde-esque wit... the sound is 1985... the spirit is roaring '20s! Just you wait! He's gonna make stars of us all!" Of course, we all know that Wilcox changed his name to Nik Kershaw before a very public falling out with Ronson, saying that he was "a yam", with Ronson replying "I GAVE THAT KID MY LAST DIME!"

Back in the June 6th issue, 1951, convinced that WWII was still on, ER's editor-in-chief, Gene Shearsmith wrote a great article about Trad Jazz and how it could end "the terrible reign of The Hun'. Shearsmith was well known for his anti-war stance... as well as his ability to completely take his eye off the ball at every single chance. Completely missing the news that 'War Is Over' relayed by a young John Lennon (and his schoolpal, Yoko Ono), Shearsmith told readers of "the perils of bop and the free wheeling modern jazz"

"Dig. The scene at the moment seems to come from a place of not playing right. These heps are playing Gershwin in the wrong order and asking the listener to do the work. Listening for the notes that aren't there?! You have to be kidding right? Mister! Its these missing notes that have left a whole hole in our emotional security and guess whose looking on, waiting to exploit... Gerry! Only Trad can plug the gap with a 4 on-the 4 beat."

In the same issue, Louis Armstrong described the Trad Defence Cabinet as:

"Bollocks."

Fast forward to '67 and a new law is passed by the Wilson's British Government that every single record player in the world must play Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band (similar to 2008's 'Ting Ting Bill'). The Electric R' (briefly redubbed 'The Perfumed Lute' during this period) was the first to call for action for "the freaks" to become "the foot soldiers". Instead of "digging the mellow high of smoking apple pips, change the scene and rise up against oppression". Early on, bands put forward as alternatives for the record player were The Smoke, The Move, Tomorrow and the long forgotten Birmingham group The Velvetine Troubadors Inc. And Cher. However, the whole 'rising up' fell to pieces three issues later after the infamous 'Don't Bogart The Airwaves' article after the ER team actually listened to Pepper and seriously dug it, with editor, Fingers McCauley writing:

"When I'm Sixty-Four, I'll still be digging this crazy LP! It's Getting Better all the time!"

Of course, Fingers McCauley was later in the centre of Scotland Yard's 'pun-bust' which saw McCauley sent down for 25 years. Fingers saw early release in '74 for 'good behaviour' which actually meant that he'd died in '73 at her majesty's pleasure. Inmates at the time said he was "too mellow to eat".

A short bus-ride through time takes us to the '80s where ER gained popularity mostly by luck, thanks to having the word 'Electric' in the title. A young Stuart Maconie got his first paid gig with The Big R', interestingly, with an article called 'Half Price Sofas at DFS'. Prophetic. At the close of the '80s, ER scribes decreed that Chaka Khan's 'I Feel For You' was The Single of the Century and Alexander O'Neill's 'Hear Say' was the Album of the Century (in later years, the same LP would top the Best LP Ever Made poll, handsomely beating 'OK Computer'*).

Big R' scribe, Jaxx Flouro, waxed lyrical in the Feb. 21st issue of 1984 about the invention of new music format, 'The Global Hypercolour Record', which later became known as "the compact disc". Ironically, it was Jaxx who wrote the 10 page special 'How The Compact Disc Can Save The Recording Industry', when later, he was imprisoned for leaking nearly 80,000 albums online after ripping them to his Apple Mac and sharing the files (which prompted 2006's 'Boy, Do I Feel Stupid Now' piece, which was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, missing out to Petticoat Blecch's Observer special 'How The Compact Disc Can Save The Recording Industry').

We'll look again at the back pages of The Electric R' and once again pose the question: Who reads this rubbish?

*This poll was made up of taking all the winners of various other 'Best Album Ever' polls. The list was 1. Hear Say 2. OK Computer 3. Sgt Pepper 4. Dark Side of the Moon. Of course, this poll ran in at four because there are no more 'Best LPs Ever' in existence.

Comments

[Jaxx Flouro]

Hey Mof! I have a copy of Hear Say on limited edition double-sided 200gram Global HC, signed in actual sweat by the great man himself and all 29 original members of The Weak Men.

Stick that in your hair and freeze it!

Keep the dream alive brother.

Jxx

[nialldoc]

poor Radiohead, OK Computer just missing out...
but when the world speaks even Thom Yorke has to listen!
long live electric roulette!