Book Review: The Fallen by Dave Simpson

Jesus Christ Almighty! After reading 'The Fallen' by Dave Simpson, I've learned some very important things. Firstly, getting into The Fall isn't so much a hobby, but more like an illness. It leaves you with an unmanageable OCD that sees you feverishly hawking Fall forums and listening to nuthin' but Fall records and wondering what the hell is happening in yer skull. It's a dangerous business.

However, there's a fate worse than a fan, and that's being in the band itself. With nearly half a century of Fallen band members, The Fall is both exhilarating and a gypsy curse. Once you've been in The Fall, you don't just go and join another group. That's either because you can't possible get the same kick 'n' rush anywhere else, or you're jaded and weirded out for the rest of your life like some battlescarred WWII vet.

And omnipotent, all pervading, casting weird spells over the whole thing is The Hip Priest himself, cracking his ringmaster's whip, Mark E. Smith, cackling in the shadows. So why is it then, I want in?

If you're a fan of The Fall, or merely someone who kinda heard that track one time and thought 'I'm gonna buy some Fall records!', this book will turn your mind inside out. You'll limp about the place like you've just played a gig in front of 5000, despite the fact you've never touched a bass in your life, and you've just come out of a hostage situation in the middle east. It's a mind-fuck, start to finish. Alas, instead of being a hard thing to stomach, it's a riotous read. I'm guessing that this book is the closest I'll ever get to understanding Stockholm Syndrome.

The book, if you hadn't guessed, doesn't merely stand back and look at the Wonderful and Frightening World of The Fall from afar, chin stroking and hmmmming. Dave Simpson nearly loses his mind getting inside, wriggling and flailing under the black magick of Mark E. Smith and his former troops. Nothing is ever as it seems, blind alleys turn into gold, stories turn out to be lies, then truth, then lies again. There's also this psychological battle throughout, between Smith and his bandmates, which involves leaving fish heads outside hotel doors as cryptic clues. There's taped recordings, fist fights, wilful destruction, hard drinking... but weirder than anything else... a huge love for everything that happened. It's that hostage-love I touched on before. 

Weirder still, instead of being appalled by the whole thing, you're left thinking "I WANT IN!" Talent is a minial requirement for recruitment into The Fall. Attitude and resilience is key. You convince yourself throughout that you might just make your way up to Prestwich and start hanging around the various pubs in the hope of getting tapped up by one of Smith's minions. Despite all the mind fucks, you start believing and thinking 'I could do that, I'd just smack him one if he got out of order...'. You wouldn't be the first or the last sunshine.

There's one line in the book which sums up the whole feeling perfectly. Adam Helal, one of The Fallen, when talking of his time in the group, says:"Brilliant, hilarious, elevating, tumultuous and shit!" Best. Review. Ever. Buy this book or get it on your Christmas list. It's a rollicking read where all the stories are true, including the lies. [mof gimmers]

Comments

[peter p]

hilarious book, very enlightening too