Music - the gift that keeps giving pointless facts

If you fall heavily in the pit of music, you'll find that your head is cluttered up with all kindsa junk, most of it completely useless. Sometimes, I wish I knew stuff about photosynthesis or how to drive a car. Instead, I know that Neil Young helped out on a couple of tracks on Love's 'Forever Changes'. I also know that one of the tracks was 'The Daily Planet*'.

See? That's the most useless bit of information you'll ever hear, even if it is kinda interesting.

So, with that in mind, I'm gonna have a clear out. Over the jump, you'll find a list of things that I know, which are pointless. They've been going roundandround in my head f'gawdknowshowlong and, if you're anything like I am, you'll store 'em as well.

Pointless things I know for no good reason

- Once, the NME had the headline "You can't get thicker than a shit Rick Witter"

- T'Pau once had a drummer called Tim Burgess. Obviously, it wasn't the same one.

- Billy Preston, George Martin, Pete Best, Stuart Sutcliffe are all referred to as 'The Fifth Beatle'

- Lord Kitchener had a club in Manchester (but I don't know where sadly)

- Evan Dando once stuck pictures on his guitar at a gig of him knocking uglies with Courtney Love

- In an interview with Primal Scream in the now defunct Select, 'Throb' spent the entire time fishing in a pint of Guinness with a miniature fishing rod.

- There was once a band called The Gyres and they had a single called 'Pop Cop'

- Klaus Voormann made the sleeve for Revolver and also played bass on some Lennon solo records.

- He also designed the front cover for The Bee Gee's '1st' LP.

- Chris Blackwell, who started Island Records, made money to set up the label from Millie's 'My Boy Lollipop'.

- Leeroy from The Prodigy once bought a nest of tables from my mates mum's work.

- A member of Led Zeppelin's roadcrew inserted a frozen fish into a young groupie.

- Peter Tork is in a band called Shoe Suede Blues these days.

- Diana Ross used to go out with Gene Simmons from Kiss.

- Orbital are massive fans of Crass.

- Public Enemy once played at a venue in Manchester which is now a Turkish supermarket.

- George Harrison got The Beatles gig by playing 'Raunchy' by Bill Justis.

- Joe Meek once sexually pounced on one of Chas 'n' Dave during a broadcast of British Wrestling.

- It was Chas.

- In the mid-seventies, Stevie Wonder had a car crash which lost him his sense of smell.

- Djibril Cisse, Sunderland striker, DJs housed up Afrobeat.

- The singer of Echobelly is called something like Sonia Aurora Madden.

- One of Underworld saw two of Kraftwerk dancing at one of their gigs once.

- I know all of the Wu Tang Clan's alter egos.

- I know all the words to Vanilla Ice's 'Ice Ice Baby' even though I never liked it.

- One of Badfinger hung himself.

- Pete Seeger wears a hearing aid.

- I can tell instantly if Lee Hazlewood produced a track.

- Gram Parsons was once revived from a smack overdose by someone inserting an icecube up his arse.

See? All pointless. I could go on too. If you have any useless bits of musical fluff in your head that you want to unload, feel free to do so in the comments below.

[mof]

*Thanks to writing when still asleep, I originally wrote The Daily Telegraph. Thanks to Owen for sorting me out good and proper.

Comments

[owen]

It's The Daily Planet by Love, not Telegraph, facts are even more useless when they're wrong, and I never heard that Neil Young helped out with a couple of tracks, even though I read a book all about the album (but I'm intrigued) ... other 'fifth Beatles' were Neil Aspinall and Victor Spinelli... Orbital are also massive fans of the Butthole Surfers and Joe Meek