Live Review - Sixth chord played in 639-year organ performance

I feel I've been given the shitty end of the stick man. Some years ago, I went to a John Cage performance of 4'33 (no shit, here's the performance of it that I went to). Telling the Roulette team that I dug John Cage the mostest, they gleefully informed me that instead of gettin' paid to write, I would in fact be paid off in freebies... one of which was a Cage gig. Now, normally, people would start thinkin' about Go-Go Cage happenings and whatnot, but I knew... hellfire! I KNEW! I was gonna get summa that JOHN CAGE ACTION! HELL YEAH!

Sadly, I've been at the same gig since 2000. You heard. And we've only just got to the sixth chord. Worst thing about it is, since the smoking ban, I'm driving myself mad... and I need a leak. Still, this is what a Cage fan must do... and things are heating up.

See, what I wasn't told was that I'm sat in the middle of the world's longest ever concert... which, I've only just found out thanks to having a look at the programme, is expected to finish in 2640. Epic. So things have been moving a little slower than I'd like and, the funk emanating from my pores is resembling an unearthed lime pit. I figure that the ol' war-grave stink is part of the experience... very apt I suppose in this time of terubble. I've decided to do my review now... although, in fairness, it's a review in progress as the gig is clearly nowhere near completion... because of the wonder of the sixth chord.

The track we're listening too at present is Cage's 'As Slow As Possible', and to be honest, I dunno if I could face an encore. Instead of getting some cool maestro, we've been fobbed off with some officials (here in Halberstadt, Germany) moving weights around which hold down the pedals of an organ in the town's medieval church. These weights, I'm told, will hold those notes until the next change. Now, this ain't a chord that fades. Hell no. This chord will be played constantly until the next change... and, tantilisingly, they ain't telling us when it's gonna happen!

The town decided to take the composer's eight-page composition literally, starting the performance in 2000 and letting it run for a total of 639 years. After beginning with a year-and-a-half of total silence, the first chord was sounded in February 2003. Organizers sounded two additional notes in July 2004, held until July 2005 and that subsequent change was then played until January 2006. Now, you may think that all this is pretty gruelling, but man, the tune-up took 932 years. Shit. Worse still, and only a Cage fan like me would know this... I think they played a wrong note in 2004... but I didn't rat because I figured it was a piece of improv. Y'know? Throw a little jazz into the mix. 

Funnily enough, I was gonna go to the debut performance of this... but I skipped it for lunch with Fuzz. Incidentally, Fuzz blew me out (had to 'dig some oscillating Moogs or summat) and I ended up eating alone. The bad news is that if I'd gone to the first performance, I would have been in and out in 29 minutes. Get that! I could be at home listening to rekkids! Not that I should complain. The sound gets more intense as the years pass... and at times, I've sworn that I could here thunderous beats and fizzing acid guitar. Then again, I also swore that I'd seen a miniature obelisk with a hockey mask placed atop a Vox stack. As this gig goes on and people come and go, I'm filled with the fear that I may not make it to the end of this gig... but it won't be thru a lack of tryin'. Man. That's what Roulette is all about... tryin'. Anyway, here's a video of the chord change. Could someone bring me a change of clothes?

[Jonas DeWait]