Tim Burgess and Joaquin Phoenix team up for musical project

According to the NME, Tim Burgess has revealed some details of a collab. that The Charlatans frontman has done with Joaquin Phoenix. Joining them is Anthony Langdon of Spacehog... but to be honest, that means fu... all to me.

The trio have laid down tracks in a Los Angeles studio with the help of former Creation Records boss.... and... y'know... like... uuuuhhh... this has gotta be the most pointless news story ever y'know?

There's quotes about Joaquin being a perfectionist and all that... but seriously, it's not worthing beyond what's written in the headline. So, to make up for wastin' mine, and more importantly, your time I'm gonna make a list of musos and thesps that could, and sometimes have, collaborate. Maybe some aren't even actors. Read over schmucksack.

Bill Tarmy and Shaun Ryder - A long player called Cottonopolis marks the rise and legacy of the industrial revolution in the North of England. Tarmy croons about the hard conditions in the mills, spitting out the venomous "these mill owners build us a Port Sunlight and a cinema and hell, a great fugoff church... and for whut? Slow... invisible... suffocation". While Ryder, in new teeth, drawls "I got Bez, you got Vera, you bring the bitter and I'll bring the cheeba".

Boris Johnson and The Nu Clash - The living members of The Clash reform to make a new dub of London's Calling with fly MC Bo-Jo gettin' all E-tonne. Stand out track "Yo Bum Rush The Bendy Bus" which features the immortal line "Red Ken Gravestone gonna git some, gonna git git some, the only pinstripe he know is the one across his neck, ch-ch-blaaaw"

Tupac and The Blessed - The Ghost of Tupac Shakur is hired once more to further his claim of "the hardest working ghost in showbiz". Known for collabs, The Ghost of Tupac Shakur teams up with Brian Blessed for a 'best of sci-fi' concept LP which sees 'Pac spitting "Uh, B, theses cracker boys be yellin' Intergalactic Planetary when they soon be pushin' flowers in a cemetery" with Blessed (or 'B-Dat'), in surprisingly good voice (somewhere between Pavarotti and Boyz II Men), hollering "The Crips, The Klan, don't understand, you'll never silence a brother who is this in demand, The Martians, The Klingons may have a plan, but I'm dreader than I ever been so step the fug back, shiyet damn!"

John Inman and Menswear - A mash up of Menswear's 'Daydreamer' and Inman's 'Are You Being Served Sir?' hit the racks some time ago, proving to be a hit on various college radio shows. On the back of the success, Choice lines were taken from Inman in panto and in the Are You Being Served TV show and thrown atop some mid-90s indie whilst the irony wasn't lost on Menswear as they debate (on record) whether they should change their name to other sections of a mid-70s department store.

Iggy Pop and the crows from the Kia-Ora ad - The greatest collab. in the history of the world. Iggy revisits 'I Wanna Be Your Dog' while the crows from the Kia-Ora ad' skank along replying "I'll be your dog". Motor City punk meets synth boogie. Sold 4 million copies in Britain and a staggering 7 million copies in Luxembourg (surprising given the fact that under  half a million people currently reside there). Iggy Pop, at the Ivor Novello Awards told a shocked crowd that crows were in fact "citrus intolerant" and that, Kia-Ora was indeed "too orangey for crows...".