New Releases, 4th February, with Ian Moor (the world's number 1 Chris De Burgh Tribute act)

Hi. My name is Ian Moor. No. I didn't play for Burnley once. Being the number one Chris De Burgh tribute act is no easy ride. It takes a lot of time and effort to get the mannerisms and look just so. Just ask that bloke out of Stereophonics who wants to be Liam Gallagher. When I sang on Stars in their Eyes, Chris De Burgh walked on stage and sang with me and whispered in my ear, "sunshine... if you take any business from me I'll have you seen to by the boys... y'get me pukebag?" It was then I knew I'd made it.

Further testament to my making it is when I'm asked for opinion on popular music by publications such as Norfolk Pop Weekly, Pop Go The Potteries... and of course, Electric Roulette. So read over for my thoughts on the hit-parade...

Hot Chip – 'Made In The Dark' (LP)

Hot Chip have a new album out eh? Well, let me tell you something... it's no The Storyman (one of De Burgh's finest works). If I'm being honest, Hot Chip make forgettable pop that tarts itself up by pretending to be dance music. To be honest, you could save yourself a lot of effort by listening to a tap drip.

The Coral: 'Put The Sun Back' (45/CD)

Ah. The Coral. They're alright aren't they? Folk rock meets psych... a bit like A Spaceman Came Traveling. Great stuff.

Lenny Kravitz – 'Time For A Love Revolution' (LP)

Giving away your soul via a free CD in a newspaper then expecting the public to buy this? I'll just wait a coupla years and I'll get it free with the Daily Mail. Lenny Crevice - dolt. 

Korn – 'Hold On' (CD)

Let's be honest here. There aren't many bands that are more laughable than Korn. On the tribute circuit, there's an act called Kornf Lakes who are every bit as terrible as the main boys. They supported me and Bon Jovish at The Colliers in Aspull and AC/Dshe turned up and heckled them. It was memorable night slightly sullied by having one too many lager tops.

Badly Drawn Boy – 'The Time Of Our Times' (45/CD)

 

Ah. Folkie pop. If you like him, you'll buy this anyway so there's not much point in reviewing it. I personally think he's a bit rubbish with occasional great tunes. Let's put it this way... come back when you've had a shave and written a Lady In Red.

Atomic Kitten - Anyone Who Had A Heart (CD)

Dionne Warwick will turn in her grave when she hears this tepid karaoke guff. Hang on. She is dead isn't she? If not, she'll probably dig herself a grave just to turn in it when she hears this. It's beyond awful.

Michael Jackson featuring will.i.am – 'The Girl Is Mine '08 (CD)

I remember this coming out first time 'round. I chuckled at the thought of Mike and Macca rolling their sleeves up and dusting each other up. "I've told Paul... I'm a lover not a fighter" and then, ho ho, wack! McCartney goes back to his Liverpool roots and smacks him with a knuckle duster! Oh. Tears of laughter roll down my face when I think of that. Anyway. If you're a real fan of MJ, avoid this like the plague. It's been shined up with some casio R 'n' B and had a rap stuck in it... a bit like that Kung Fu Fighting by Bus Stop or whatever they were called. Modern beat, rap, done.

Morrissey - Greatest Hits (LP)

A Morrissey comp. What more do you want me to say about it? Available in Tescos no doubt for those who can't be bothered going to a real record shop and buying the originals. Comes free with a voucher for some Mozza wigs and a packet of lockets.